Saturday, September 29, 2007

Body Disgust

Most of the time I look in the mirror and think I look pretty decent. My face looks good, my hair is ok, my body? Well, it doesn't look too fat in these clothes. I mean, I know I'm kinda fat, but not TOTALLY fat. And other times, I just get a look at myself in a picture or a mirror walking by or I even look down at myself from a weird angle, and I think, "Oh my word, can that possibly be my thigh? How in the world did I get so fat?" And then I investigate how huge my thigh really is, and I'm stunned. Stunned, shocked, and absolutely disgusted.

How is it that I'm able to trick myself into thinking I'm not all that fat, when I have thighs that are so enormous. How do I even fit on a chair? Do they even make clothes that big? Yes, sadly, they do, since I'm obviously wearing something. And even bigger.

And how can I translate this disgust into something useful like motivation? I honestly don't know.

No comments: