Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Here I go again

I've come to the decision that I need to join Weight Watchers. Again. I thought I could follow the program by myself, keep track of points and exercise and lose the weight I need to lose. That's part of the reason I started this blog--to document my weight loss journey. The problem is, there hasn't been any weight lost along this journey. I keep trying different things and not losing any weight. I know I'm exercising more than I used to, and I feel like I'm healthier than I was a year ago, but I'm just as fat.

I've joined WW three times now, I think. The first time, after I had my fourth child, I ended up losing 40 pounds. But then, when I had my fifth child, I ended up gaining back all that weight, and here I sit, 50 pounds overweight--again.

I guess I just wanted to prove that I could do it on my own and save the money "wasted" by going to meetings every week. I mean, how much good can one half hour of a meeting do, anyway, right? Well, I don't think it's the meeting, I think it's the accountablity, the weighing in in front of someone other than the four walls of your own bathroom, and the talking about your struggles with people who know what you're going through that help keep a person motivated. So, I've realized that I CAN'T do it on my own. Not at this moment, at least. I need some external motivation.

So, today I will go. I will pay the $119 for the first 10 weeks. And I will be happy about it. When I talked to my husband about joining and how I hated to "waste" the money, he said, "It's worth it if it helps you lose weight, isn't it?" I guess it is. Because feeling guilty about how I haven't lost any weight in the past year isn't really helping me any.

So, wish me luck. The first week is the most humiliating.


Emily said...

good luck paige -- i know how hard it is to spend big $$ on yourself. i hate spending so much on doctors and pills, esp. when it seems to not be helping. but i just try to remember that i'm worth it, my health is worth it....etc.etc.etc.

Missie said...

Good for you, Paige. You can do this. You just need a little help, and WW can provide that for you.

Just like it does for me. I thought I could do it on my own too and save the $$. Well, apparently I cannot. Life keeps getting in my way of losing weight. Excuses are always there and ready to be used. In my case, if I don't do WW and go to meetings, I am much much less effective.

You can do this. You will do this. And it will get easier. ;)

(when you feel homicidal, you can email me. Let's keep each other out of jail, shall we?)